Phone-phobia, also known as tele-phobia, is a common fear and in my experience it’s consistently prevalent in developers. This intense fear of answering the phone or making a call can range from mild hesitation and procrastination to profuse sweating, severe avoidance and even fainting. Thankfully that’s not happened in our office yet!
Personally I hate the telephone. My excuse is partly that the ringing tone interrupts my flow of concentration (essential for long periods of programming), but apart from that I guess it’s just that I don’t like talking through them.
I’m not the most extrovert of people, hence why I develop software and am not a salesman. Was I humiliated as a child when I once used the phone that’s put me off for life? Is it just my shy-and-retiring-would-rather-code-than-talk personality trait that does it? Why? I love technology and surely the telephone is just another gadget to be tinkered with?
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not an out and out social phobic, though admittedly most of my friends are techies too, and it’s easier to have a conversation with other techies than it is normal people. I just don’t like being put on the spot and be made to communicate through chat, when I can think through my hands and keyboard. Sending an email, an SMS or IM is so much easier, I can write down all the points I want to make, review it, and then send it. All without having to utter a single word.
Ok, so speaking doesn’t need a spell checker and your facial gestures remove the need for emoticons, but all the same, the stress of having to think and speak and not be able to see the other person on the end of the line is all rather scary to me.
I’ll drop anyone an email, anytime, no hesitation. But having to make a phone call, which is worse for me than answering a call, well, I can procrastinate for days, even weeks sometimes:
Monday - 5.12pm
I arrived at the office this morning and needed to make a fairly important phone call. It’s now nearly the end of the working day and I guess I will leave it till tomorrow, sure, after 5pm is not the time to start something new. I guess it can wait till tomorrow morning.
Tuesday - 8.47am
Well, I’ve just arrived at the office and still have to make that call. I’ll just have a cup of coffee as it’s not quite 9am and most businesses don’t start till nine, so I’ll look through some code while I’m drinking (don’t want to be slurping coffee while on the phone) and then I’ll make the call.
11.27am
Hmm, perhaps I should nip out and grab a sandwich from the local deli before the lunch crowd forms a long queue. It’ll be quicker that way. Besides, I want to make sure they have my favorite sandwich filling.
11.49am
I’ll just eat my lunch and then make that call.
12.31pm
Most people go out to lunch, so the person I need to speak to probably isn’t even in the office. Perhaps after 2pm is the best idea. I’ll carry on with this debugging in the meantime and call in a couple of hours.
15.22pm
I’ve been pushing my brain hard today on some awkward code and trying to figure out the answer to a really tedious technical issue. I’m not feeling too sharp so maybe I’ll make that call first thing in the morning when I’m a bit more refreshed….
The story has been the same every day this week. It’s now mid Thursday afternoon and I’ve still not made that call. I’ve looked through every page on the company’s web site, desperately searching for a form that allows me to make my communication using another medium - email, SMS, smoke signals, who cares as long as it’s not the dreaded telephone?
At some point I’m going to have to bite the bullet and pick up the handset… Ok, just as soon as I’ve finished this blog, I’ll make a cup of tea and do it.
What’s your office phobia, I’d love to know? Just don’t phone me up to tell me!
